Ears, Nose, and Throat

The doctor looked into the medical student's ear. "Too much ear wax." She looked into the other ear. "Wow, even more wax! Who else wants to volunteer to be the patient?"

I rose my hand, sat down in the chair, and the doctor inserted the otoscope. "Beautiful tympanic membrane with almost no wax. Your ear canal is unusually straight. Ought to be perfect for demonstrating."

"Q-tip every morning" I said. "That's probably not the greatest idea" she responded.

Student E grabbed the otoscope, peered in, and said she saw the eardrum. Mission accomplished.

Student L then took the scope. She couldn't see anything, so her solution was to insert the scope farther with a quick jabbing motion, which evoked a sharp yelp from me. She appologized profusely.

Then it was off to the nose. The doctor inserted the speculum and peered in. "Hmm, slight deviation of the nasal septum to the right. Now you guys take a look. Just remember NOT to close the speculum before removing it, or you'll take out some hairs."

Student L took a look without complication. Then student Y did, but apparently forgot the doctor's instructions in the intervening 30 seconds. He closed the speculum while taking it out, taking five nose hairs with him. You could see them still attached to the speculum.

"Owww! Goddamnit" was my reaction. My right eye started watering. Student Y appologized profusely and got me a tissue.

I asked the doctor why pulling nose hairs caused tearing.

"It's called pain" she responded.